Endagered Optimist

Everyone always says I never write so here goes:

I hate my job. I'm fed up with this place and the people that I work with, I'm not happy here at all. The people that I have built good relationships with Eric, Meghan, & Bill are not the ones I work with, but rather the people I wish I had the ability to work with. Waking up everymorning and thinking about the fact that I'm coming here that Ihave to travel and hour to be here makes feel a combination of things sad, mad, & depressed are at the top of the list. I know I have to be positive and look forward towards the fact that I'm doing this to graduate, and that's what I want to do, but they make it very difficult. I'm really tired todaybecause I have class and will not get home until 10:30 and I feel very drained & being here just makes me feel worse. I hate dealing with people who don't know what the hell is going on, and who try to make themeselves look better by harping on me. I understand that in life you have to learn to "play the game" but it really eats away at me. I find it hard beng the yes man, or just doing whatever I am told without poutting any thought into it of my own. I have a brain and I have ideas and opinions that i'd like to express that i feel will be helpful....I will explain more later but i have to get back to working for the man!

I feel so sad, so down, its just a huge combination of things, what can I do to get pass this? I wish I knew!

I think i'm going to become a feminist, i'm pretty sick and tired of the way I see men treat women, the objectifying the disrespect, whatever happened to treating a woman as your equal i'm aware that there are "slors" out there, but when a man does it he's a playa when a woman does it she's a hoe that had better go to the free clinic, personally i think the playing field would be much more evened out if men could brcome pregnant....Maybe we need to start objectifying men more and downgrading them for the piece of shit they are!!!!!
(Please note this has no bearring on my own relationship and are from the feminist narratives of a pondering Sistah!)

to come in from a weird day where...well to come into to my office and find roses from victor n a card from my coworkers just made fell feel really good, vic your a sweetheart thanks alot!

scared

feeling really alone in the world like its just me

syxx vj: so how are you?
H0neyM0lasses: me im here
syxx vj: yeah, but HOW are you
H0neyM0lasses: i dont know honestly
H0neyM0lasses: doesnt make sense i guess
syxx vj: no, it makes sense
H0neyM0lasses: i been feeling really lately lazy n r\fed up
H0neyM0lasses: im ready 2 b done w/ school already
syxx vj: you're just burnt out
H0neyM0lasses: im ready to be in a job thats my career
H0neyM0lasses: that im good at
H0neyM0lasses: im ready to be away fom home
H0neyM0lasses: im ready for my own place my own ca
H0neyM0lasses: my own life
H0neyM0lasses: n everything seems out of my reach
H0neyM0lasses: lik i know ill get there
H0neyM0lasses: but i just ant to get there NOW
syxx vj: patience, young one

If I speak in tongues of men & of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy & can fathom all mysteries & all knowledge & if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give up all I possess & surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient;love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there r prophecies, they will pass away; where there r tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge it will pass away. 4 we know in part & we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.... & now these 3 remain: faith, hope & love, but the greatest of these is love.